Divorce Pathway
Grief comes in all forms, including after the loss of a relationship. The sting of a divorce can last for a long time after the ink dries on all of the legal documents. How can you begin to pick up the pieces of a shattered heart and start to find healing on the other side of divorce? No matter what circumstances led to this painful decision, there is a way through the valley of divorce. In this Divorce Pathway, you can find hope from others who have walked that journey and are experiencing healing in the process. If you or someone you know has experienced a divorce, this pathway will shine light on a path forward.
Podcast Episodes:
How do we find people who can help us carry the weight of our stories? How do we learn to experience safety in community when relationships themselves have often been the source of deep pain?
Author, speaker, and podcaster Toni Collier has endured profound hardship throughout her life, including caring for a parent at a young age, surviving an abusive marriage, experiencing sexual betrayal, enduring sexual manipulation as a child, walking through two divorces, and more. Learning to trust others with the deepest parts of her story did not come easily. Yet through the healing power of what she calls a Confessional Community, Toni began experiencing layers of healing and freedom she never thought possible. In her latest book, Don't Try This Alone: How to Build Deep Community When You Want to Hide from Your Pain, Toni shares how authentic, vulnerable community can become one of the primary ways God brings healing through suffering.
In this episode, Davey and Toni talk about why confession and vulnerability are such essential parts of healing, how we can become safe people that others trust with their pain, and the emotional and spiritual dangers of isolation and hidden suffering.
If opening up to others has felt difficult—especially in seasons of pain, disappointment, or heartbreak—this conversation will remind you that healing was never meant to happen alone and that God often uses deep, authentic community as part of the restoration process He wants to invite you into.
What do you do when you find yourself living a life that was never your plan? How do you navigate the heartache of divorce and come out the other side stronger?
Author and speaker Vaneetha Risner was no stranger to suffering long before her husband told her he had met someone else and wanted a divorce. After having walked through polio as a child, losing her infant son due to medical negligence and receiving a debilitating post-polio diagnosis, Vaneetha had already endured profound loss. Yet divorce brought its own distinct grief—one she had to walk through while caring for her teenage daughters and navigating her own heartbreak. In her book, This Was Never the Plan: Walking with God through the Heartache of Divorce, she shares the practical wisdom and steady faith that carried her through.
In this episode, Davey and Vaneetha talk about where to begin when a marriage unravels unexpectedly, how to confront the shame that often accompanies divorce, and what it truly looks like to trust God in the midst of deep pain and healing.
If you or someone you love is living a story that feels nothing like the one once imagined, this conversation offers the hope that no matter what you’ve experienced, joy can return—and healing can emerge in the most unexpected places.
Warning: This episode discusses domestic violence and may not be suitable for all audiences.
What do you do when your life turns into a nightmare? How do you find healing from the deepest hurts imaginable?
As a therapist, Kimberly Haar had spent years walking others through darkness and difficulty. But nothing could have prepared her for her own journey through trauma. Years after an amicable divorce, Kimberly was violently assaulted by her ex-husband. In a harrowing turn of events, he kidnapped her and shot her then-boyfriend—now husband—ten times. While both Kimberly and her husband survived and recovered physically, their emotional healing would take years—and a deep dependence on Jesus.
Kimberly shares her powerful story in her book Healing from Life's Deepest Hurts: Reclaiming Your Life After Grief, Loss, or Trauma, offering hope and tools for others navigating their own paths of recovery.
In this episode, Davey sits down with Kimberly to talk about facing fear after trauma, the vital role therapy can play in healing, and how to honor the pain you've experienced without staying trapped in a victim identity.
If you or someone you know has faced the unimaginable, this conversation will be a reminder that even after navigating the deepest hurts—with God—you can reclaim your life.
What do you do when life leaves you desperate for hope? How do you find redemption when all you see is brokenness?
Angie Howell knows these questions all too well. On the verge of her third divorce and pregnant with her eighth child, Angie found herself in a place of deep pain and loss. Shortly after the birth of her daughter, Jade, Angie sensed something was wrong. What followed was a long and difficult journey of medical tests and diagnoses, leading her into the complex world of parenting a child with special needs.
In the midst of uncertainty and while still a lukewarm Christian, Angie encountered an unexpected moment of divine intervention. Her cousin, along with his biker friends, came to pray over her and Jade. In that powerful moment, something inside Angie shifted—she experienced a miracle not in her circumstances, but in her heart. It was the beginning of a profound transformation.
Angie shares her story of struggle, faith, and redemption in her book, Jewel of Heaven: A Beautiful Story of Brokenness, Redemption, and the Power of a Biker’s Prayer. She calls herself a misfit, and through her writing, she vulnerably reveals how an unconventional group of believers helped her find hope and healing.
In this episode, Davey sits down with Angie to talk about how the true miracle in our lives is often the change God brings to our hearts through pain, how He uses unlikely people to speak life and hope into us, and why our stories are never meant for us alone—they’re meant to bring healing to others too.
If you've ever felt too broken for redemption, this conversation will remind you: no matter how far gone you feel, God is relentlessly pursuing you—even in your brokenness.
How do you even begin to talk to God when life is unfolding in ways you never wanted? What can prayer do when the pain feels unbearably raw and deep?
For Rachel Wojo, these questions became deeply personal. She never could have imagined the depth of suffering she would walk through—navigating her daughter’s terminal diagnosis and eventual passing, enduring betrayal in a first marriage that ended in divorce, and losing her mother in her twenties and her father while writing her book, Desperate Prayers: Embracing the Power of Prayer in Life’s Darkest Moments. Pain came from every direction. And yet, in her desperation, Rachel discovered strength through raw, honest conversations with God.
In this episode, Davey and Rachel talk about the wrestlings that come with a difficult diagnosis, the vital role of prayer in our darkest seasons, and how remembering God's past faithfulness can help us move forward through grief and heartbreak.
If you’ve ever struggled to find the words to say to God in your most desperate moments, this conversation will remind you that you don’t need perfect prayers—just an honest heart willing to keep reaching for Him, even in the pain.
How do we heal a marriage that has been broken by betrayal? Is it even possible to move past the shame and condemnation that can come after choices that harm our closest relationship?
There was a time when author and podcaster Jill Savage could not see a road to redemption after her husband, Mark, then a pastor, had an affair and was ready to end their marriage. Through what can only be described as the work of God in Mark's heart, their marriage was healed and they stayed together after betrayal. But, the road to that place was not easy. It was full of heartache and shame that threatened to end their relationship. Mark says it was only when he was able to fully surrender to the Lord that true healing came. Now, the couple coaches others who are walking through a similar pain story and have written several books and resources to help couples whose marriages are at a breaking point.
In this episode, Davey talks with Mark and Jill about how to love a spouse when it feels impossible, the incredible power of surrender, and the difference between condemnation vs. conviction.
Whether your marriage is on the brink of divorce or you are working through shame over a past sin, this conversation will help you find a way through the emotions that can keep us stuck, hurting our most precious relationships, and into hope and healing.
Warning: This episode discusses loss by suicide and may not be suitable for all listeners.
What do we do when it comes to understanding God's role in the events of our lives? How do we interpret the pain we endure, the evil that exists in the world and God's sovereignty in it all?
For author and professor of Old Testament Ingrid Faro, it was her own personal experience of pain and evil that led her to dig deeply into scripture in order to better understand how God works in the midst of suffering. Having experienced domestic abuse and divorce, a remarriage than ended when her husband died by suicide, and so much more, Ingrid began to ask questions when it came to pain and suffering and evil in our experience as humans. It was through her own story and scholarly study that she wrote Demystifying Evil: A Biblical and Personal Exploration, in which she examines the impact of evil and how to undo its power in our lives.
In this episode, Aubrey and Ingrid talk about how our stories can lead us to our life's work, the power of lament and what to do in the face of evil.
If you've ever struggled to make sense of the things that have been done to you, this conversation is a reminder that God can handle all our anger and questions, doubts and fears, and invites us to be honest with the pain that we are experiencing.
What does redemption look like in our stories of pain and suffering? How do we step into the story of someone we love and hold space for them?
For Nothing is Wasted co-founder, Kristi Blackburn, learning to be a place of refuge and healing for her husband, Davey, and son, Weston, years after they lost their first wife and mom, Amanda, has been no simple task. In the messiness of grief, blending families, and navigating the impact of trauma, Kristi has had to step into the call of being a wife and mother without a manual but only the grace of God to guide her. She has had to learn how to do it all from a place of faith and not fear, while also tending to her own story of shame, loss and grief. While it hasn't been easy, she has found that in the midst of it all, God has given her the strength and wisdom she has needed to be a source of healing and help to both Davey and Weston as they continue to put the pieces together of their shattered hearts.
In this heartwarming episode, Davey and Kristi have the opportunity to share candidly about what it has been like to step into each other's pain, the difference between redemption and restoration, and how to parent kids who have faced the unimaginable.
If you've ever struggled to see God's redemption plan play out in your story, this conversation will show you that perhaps it already has and you just haven't recognized it yet.
What do we do when we are a leader and our life as we know it unravels? How do we continue to lead in the depths of our pain?
For ministry leader, author, speaker and podcaster Toni Collier, she thought she was finally living her redemption story in her second marriage, only to watch her relationship crumble very quickly when she learned of continued betrayal within it. Immediately after getting some of the most devastating news of her life, she saw God's kindness in that she was just doors down from some of her best friends. It was this group of women, some of the members of her confessional community and the constant reminders of God's with-ness, what she calls "God Winks," that sustained her through a very public divorce and all that followed. As she walked through the heartache of losing the marriage that she thought was an answer to her past pain, she learned how to lead in the midst of her greatest hurts. By sharing vulnerably her story and what she was dealing with in real time, she offered others the freedom to speak out and share their own suffering. She continues to offer women the opportunity to find healing through her ministry, Broken Crayons Still Color, and her podcast, Still Coloring.
In this honest and raw conversation with Davey, Toni shares what it looks like to lead through our pain, why we need to pay attention to God's goodness in our hurt, and how a confessional community can help us heal.
If you're a leader walking through the unexpected and wondering how you can keep going in the middle of it, this episode will serve as a reminder that even in our brokenness, God can use our lives to color a beautiful picture of His grace and redemption in life for others.
How does the gospel apply in the loss of a marriage? Where can everyone involved find hope after the pain of divorce?
Having grown up as a pastor's kid of a world renowned theologian, John Piper, Barnabas Piper knew the right theological answers in life. It was through his own personal journey of pain after an unwanted divorce that led him to a newfound understanding of God's grace and mercy in his hurt and ultimately, his life. Since then, as a pastor, Barnabas has been able to help others through their own feelings of shame and heartache and has pointed them to the ways in which the gospel applies to all.
In this honest conversation, Nothing is Wasted guest host, Eric Schumacher sits down with Barnabas to talk about the transition between theological knowledge into a true understanding, what the gospel says to everyone who is affected by a divorce, and how the Church can love people well through the pain of a broken marriage.
This episode is for anyone who has walked through or has loved someone who has walked through a divorce as it reminds us all that God's redemptive love and the hope of the gospel applies to every pain we will ever endure.
What do you do if much of your pain is caused by your own choices? How do you begin to break free from shame and find God's grace in your past?
For author, pastor and Bible teacher, Ines Franklin the journey towards healing has taken some time, but God has been with her every step of the way. Having grown up without a father, Ines found the wounds of her past and her own decisions led her to living with immense shame. She divorced twice, had two abortions, and had been engaged in an affair. When she came to know Jesus, she still carried around the scars that her pain and shame had left on her.
As she began to more fully embrace the gift of God's grace in her life and as she told her story more openly, she started to see the shame lift and God used her brokenness to help others. In her latest book, Uncharted: Navigating Your Unique Journey of Faith, Ines looks at how each of us have our own road to walk when it comes to our faith and how even our greatest struggles can be used as a part of God's greater plan for our lives.
In this episode, guest host Vaneetha Risner sits down with Ines to discuss how to disentangle shame from our stories, learning to understand God's grace in our lives and the importance of absorbing the pain we've caused others.
If part of your pain is because of your own decisions, this conversation will encourage you that God can use even your worst choices to bring about healing and hope for yourself and others.
How do you begin to pick up the pieces when your life shatters in an instant? What do you do when your ministry and your family seem to crumble in a moment? How do you move forward after signing divorce papers?
For former pastor's wife and author, Brandi Wilson, she could not have imagined the way her story would go. She had helped to build an incredibly successful church with her then-husband and had served faithfully alongside him as the congregation grew and thrived. Then, she found her whole world come crashing down when her husband decided to leave the church and their marriage. Not only did Brandi have to navigate the personal pain, but there was also the very public attention on her greatest sorrow. It was through her journey towards healing that Brandi learned how to endure the darkest seasons of life and find hope on the other side. She would go on to share her personal story of pain and healing in her new book, Better Than Okay: Finding Hope and Healing After Your Marriage Ends.
In this vulnerable episode, Davey sits down with Brandi to talk about what to do when you see signs of unhealthy patterns in your marriage, how to shepherd your kids through the pain of divorce and the best ways we can show up for those who have endured the loss of a marriage in church and in life.
You don't have to have experienced the loss of a marriage to be encouraged by this conversation on finding hope, healing and restoration after our most terrible days.
Boundaries can feel impossible sometimes, especially if you have lived your life without them. How do you begin to draw the line when it comes to what you are willing to accept in a relationship? How do you know when it is beyond the point of healing and time to let go of a toxic relationship?
Author, speaker and Bible teacher Lysa TerKeurst never dreamed that her life would look the way it does now. After finding out about her husband's infidelity, Lysa was committed to healing and restoration of her marriage. But as time went by, Lysa endured the most difficult season of her life and had to face the most difficult decision. Ultimately, her marriage ended and she was left to pick up the pieces. As she has walked the journey of healing, she has begun to see how her own inability to set boundaries contributed to the chaos in her relationship.
In this episode, Lysa talks to Aubrey about how boundaries are not just a good thing but also a God thing, how to determine the amount of access someone should have in our lives and why boundaries can keep the best of who we are front and center.
If you find yourself putting clear boundaries up, especially in relationships that need them most, this conversation will give you the courage to live in a way that will help you and those you love flourish.
So often when it comes to the topic of singleness, there is this sense that many believe significance comes only when you finally find "the one." But the truth is, leading a life full of purpose doesn't have to wait until there is a significant other. In fact, singleness, no matter how long that season lasts, can be a fulfilling, purposeful time that the Lord uses in your life and in the lives of those around you.
For Mandy Hale, it was coming to this realization that provided her the freedom to find joy in fulfilling her life's purpose as a single woman. Rather than focusing on the one kind of love she didn't have, she learned to see the love all around her through friendship, community, and family. She was able to connect with others through her writing and not get in stuck in waiting for a future with her present right in front of her.
In this episode, Davey talks with Mandy about finding purpose right where you are, the impact the pandemic and other difficult life events can have on a single person, and paying attention to the love you already have in your life.
Whether you are single or just waiting for something in your life, this conversation will remind you to choose to live fully in whatever circumstances you find yourself in.
Sometimes life can break your heart after one unexpected tragedy. But, what about when circumstances seems to break your heart all throughout your story? How do you find healing when it seems heartache is woven into the fabric of your life?
For Christian recording artist Blanca, it felt like her whole life was marred by heartbreak. As a child, she was a victim of sexual abuse. As an adult, she lost both her parents and went through a devastating divorce. Finding healing in life when it seemed like the pieces were shattered has been difficult, but through her journey with the Lord, through her music and with the help of a counselor, Blanca has begun to experience healing from her wounds.
In this episode, Davey sits down with Blanca to talk about facing the pain in order to heal, the value in sharing your healing process with others, and how creativity can be a tool God uses to mend a broken heart.
Healing is never an easy endeavor, but Blanca's story is proof that God is in the business of binding up the wounds of the brokenhearted.
What happens when the life you've built turns to dust? For Steph Teague, it began with just a few short sentences: "I don't think I believe in God anymore and I want a divorce".
Hearing those words from her high school sweetheart, Chris, was devastating and yet, she slowly began to rebuild her life after such a deep hurt. Chris was on a seemingly separate journey through addiction, doubts, and deconstruction.
In time, the Lord got a hold of Chris' heart and he experienced true life transformation, only to realize the mistake he had made in leaving his wife. Through God's kindness, the two would later reconcile, remarry and go on to start a band called Out of the Dust, where they would write songs of the loss and redemption in their story.
Join Davey, Chris, and Steph as they talk about how to trust God when those we love wrestle with doubts and deconstruction, healing a marriage after brokenness, and the importance of community in whatever pain we face.
This episode is an encouragement for anyone who feels like life's circumstances are beyond repair and who longs for redemption out of the dust.
How do you find purpose in pain that seems to have no end in sight?
Pastor and former athlete Jesse Bradley found himself facing that question when anti-malaria drugs sent him on a ten year journey of healing from chronic pain and health issues.
Jesse sat down with Davey to have a conversation about what it looks like to find purpose in our pain when it doesn't seem to be getting better. It was in the hardships of that experience as well as others that Jesse found his true path towards healing and becoming a conduit of healing for others.
His journey has included being a child of divorce, fostering and adoption in his own family as well as becoming a pastor passionate about sharing the love and truth of the gospel.
This conversation will inspire you towards hope and healing no matter what pain you are facing.
Michelle Donnelly found herself in an impossible situation. Married to her high school sweetheart with three young children, Michelle was stuck in a highly toxic relationship and didn’t see where else to go.
When the marriage finally ended, Michelle was left in a new uncomfortable season: being a Christian single mom. The church often doesn’t know how to handle single parents, and Michelle suddenly found herself dealing with faith, parenting, dating, and more challenges all while in this new season of being single.
To wrap up our Singleness Series, Michelle sits down with Davey to share her story and how she’s turned her pain around into a newfound purpose to help moms just like her.
Most of us believe in God in our minds. We think all the right things, that God is in control, that he is good, that nothing is wasted. But when these beliefs only live in our head, there’s only so far they can take us. It’s when we walk through intense suffering that these ideas move from our heads to our hearts, and that’s when God truly becomes real to us. Vaneetha Risner knows this all too well. Through chronic disease, miscarriage, sexual betrayal, the loss of a child, and more, Vaneetha has come to know God deeply through unimaginable pain. Vaneetha sits down with Davey to share some how she’s learned to thrive in the midst of suffering by taking back her story.
For those who have experienced any kind of abuse, it can be hard to find a way to move forward in life. There’s this trauma that’s too big to process, and it’s easy to get stuck in it. Georgia Shaffer has dedicated her life to helping people in these exact situations, but the ability to help others didn’t come easy. After walking though a cancer diagnosis with almost no chance to survive and then watching her marriage and career fall apart, Georgia is no stranger to pain herself. But Georgia met God in the midst of her pain, and now she wants to help others do the same. To continue our series on surviving abuse, Georgia sits down with Davey to talk about how the pain she’s gone through has prepared her to help walk others through their own valleys.
Most divorce stories don’t end in remarriage, but Jeff and Cheryl Scruggs are the exception. After seven years apart, the couple and their daughters were a whole family once again. But a wedding is only the start of a marriage, and Jeff and Cheryl’s second wedding was only their first step into a long journey of learning what a Godly marriage really looks like. Jeff and Cheryl return to talk more with Davey about what life has looked like since they remarried and the things they’ve learned along the way.
With a wife and two daughters, Jeff Scruggs thought he had everything he could want in life. His wife Cheryl felt differently. Dissatisfaction in the marriage eventually led to an affair, and no matter how hard Jeff fought for their marriage, the couple soon found themselves divorced. But the death of their marriage wasn’t the end of their story. Lonely and hurt, Cheryl and Jeff met Jesus and after years apart they began the slow, hard work of reconciliation. Jeff and Cheryl sit down with Davey to share their story of divorce, salvation, reconciliation, remarriage, and more.
Michele Cushatt was already no stranger to pain and hardship when she faced her biggest challenge yet. Michele made her living as a successful communicator, which made it that much more heartbreaking when a doctor told her she had cancer in her tongue. They removed the cancer, and it came back again and again, until Michele was left in a state of constant pain for months and with effects that would last the rest of her life. Michele sits down with Davey to talk about her new book Relentless and how she’s learned how to walk with God through so many trials.
It’s hard enough when one challenge hits your life, but what if it’s not just one? Sometimes trials don’t come alone, and we can find ourselves walking through one difficult season after another. Every new circumstance brings new levels of pain and grief, and it can be hard to draw near to God when everything seems to be going wrong. This is exactly what Molly Huffman faced. After her mother’s death, a miscarriage, the loss of her newborn son, and a divorce, it seemed like the whole world was against her.
This month on the Nothing is Wasted Podcast - you can join in on this conversation about pain, joy, heartache, and healing. Part one is all about Ally and her journey through heartache and how she's turning it into purpose and healing.
This month on the Nothing is Wasted Podcast - you can join in on this conversation about pain, joy, heartache, and healing. Part one is all about Ally and her journey through heartache and how she's turning it into purpose and healing.
Masterclasses:
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If you’re walking through the loss of your marriage, you’ve probably found yourself wondering, How am I going to survive this pain?
The grief and heartache that comes after a divorce can be debilitating. Shame and fear can attempt to keep you in the pit of pain.
But even in your darkest valley, God wants you to know that He is there and there is a way through. And we are here to help guide you in that valley.
Author and speaker Brandi Wilson was a prominent megachurch pastor’s wife and had built her life around serving her church and her family. She was blindsided when her husband decided to leave both the church and their marriage. The days that followed were difficult, but with God’s promises and help, Brandi made her way through the painful destruction of the life she knew and has found a way to build a new, beautiful one on the other side. Through her recent book, Better Than Okay: Finding Hope and Healing After Your Marriage Ends, Brandi shares her story of the heartache she experienced and how she found healing.
In this masterclass, Brandi shares how to be Better Than Okay: Finding Hope and Healing After Your Marriage Ends.
In this masterclass, you will:
Get practical encouragement after divorce
Learn to rely on God’s promises in your pain
Find hope and healing in the days that follow the end of a marriage
No one ever thinks divorce will be a part of their story. Learning how to navigate the pain of a broken relationship will help you find hope and healing and know that you can live better than okay.
Resources
Website: https://lovebrandiwilson.com/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/lovebrandiwilson
Book: Better Than Okay: Finding Hope and Healing After Your Marriage Ends https://a.co/d/9DqZ2j7
Bonus Episodes:
Live Events:
Pain to Purpose Coaching
Need someone to walk with you through your valley? Our Nothing is Wasted Certified Coaches are ready to help you find your way from pain into purpose. Hire yours today by scheduling a free connection call and we’ll help you started with one-on-one help.
Have you found this Pathway helpful? Be sure to check out our other Pathways for more inspiring stories of hope in the face of tragedy, trauma and pain.
Let these Pathways be a roadmap for you on your healing journey.
How do you begin to heal after one of the deepest forms of betrayal? What does it look like to reclaim your sense of self when it feels shattered or lost?
Author and counselor Tammy Gustafson knows firsthand the pain of intimate betrayal. Through her own story, as well as the experiences of countless women she has counseled, she has come to understand the immense courage required to heal when betrayal dismantles trust and fractures a relationship. She has witnessed the long and often arduous journey women must walk as they move from heartbreak and confusion toward wholeness and a renewed sense of identity. In her book, Broken to Brave: Your Courageous Act of Healing After Intimate Betrayal, Tammy offers a compassionate roadmap for navigating the complex and often murky waters of healing after betrayal.
In this conversation, Davey and Tammy discuss the profound impact betrayal can have on a relationship, where to begin when the healing journey feels overwhelming, and some of the common places people become stuck along the way.
If you or someone you love has experienced the pain of betrayal, this episode offers hope that healing is possible—and that it is possible to move from brokenness to bravery.