Healing from Church Hurt and Spiritual Abuse
Experiences within faith communities are often meant to bring connection, belonging, and spiritual growth—but when harm occurs in these spaces, the impact can be deeply disorienting and painful. Church hurt and spiritual abuse can take many forms—from manipulation and control to betrayal, exclusion, or misuse of authority. What once felt like a place of safety can become a source of confusion, grief, and mistrust. Many find themselves wrestling with questions like: How did something meant for good cause so much harm? Can I trust again? What does this mean for my faith?
This pathway creates space to explore those questions with honesty and care. You’ll hear from individuals who have experienced harm within church or spiritual settings, as well as those who have walked the long road of processing, healing, and rebuilding. Through their stories, you’ll encounter themes of grief, anger, courage, and the slow work of reclaiming voice, boundaries, and belief. Healing from church hurt is often complex and deeply personal, but it is possible to move toward wholeness, clarity, and renewed trust—at your own pace. You are not alone in what you’ve experienced, and your story deserves to be heard, honored, and restored.
Podcast Episodes:
How do you begin to disrupt the toxic family patterns you experienced as a child? What do you do with the dissonance between the outward appearance of your life and the reality of what was?
For Amy Duggar King, life was lived in two very different worlds. One appeared happy and carefree, marked by regular appearances on her extended family’s reality TV show, 19 Kids and Counting. The other was dark and frightening, shaped by toxic narcissistic patterns and abuse that she and her mother endured at home with her father. As Amy grew older, she began to recognize that the abuse she experienced in her family of origin was not isolated. Some of her cousins—who seemed to be living the peaceful, picture-perfect life she longed for—were navigating their own pain behind the scenes. Over time, Amy came to understand that what meets the eye is not always the full story. Through deep personal processing, she began breaking generational cycles and dismantling toxic family patterns. She shares her story in depth in her book, Holy Disruptor: Shattering the Shiny Facade by Getting Louder with the Truth.
In this episode, Davey and Amy discuss what narcissism can look like in families, the lasting effects of spiritual abuse, and what it means to become a Holy Disruptor—someone who courageously breaks cycles and patterns in the light of God’s truth.
If you’ve ever wondered how to undo the toxic patterns you grew up in, this conversation will encourage you to shatter the shiny facade and bring holy disruption to the places that need it most.
How do you find hope when life unexpectedly thrusts you into the valley of loss? How do you navigate the rugged terrain of pain?
For Nothing is Wasted’s Podcast Producer and Content Director, Catherine Fitzgerald, the heartbreak and trauma of losing her brother, Zac, plunged her into a valley unlike anything she had ever experienced. In the aftermath came secondary losses of community and identity and a spiritual desolation that felt like a dark night of the soul. She found herself wondering how she would ever find her way back to faith.
And yet, God met her there—through the book of Psalms and through the stories of others, like Davey Blackburn—offering a glimmer of light to guide her toward hope.
Now, in Nothing is Wasted’s latest project, Catherine has gathered and edited a collection of stories from past podcast guests, Nothing is Wasted Coaches, and team members. Each story weaves together personal journeys through pain, loss, and trauma with reflections on the Psalms, forming a powerful new devotional—Hope in the Valley: 42 Days of Healing Through the Psalms After Loss, Grief, and Tragedy.
In this episode, Davey and Catherine look back on their own stories and their shared journey through Nothing is Wasted. Together, they explore how loss reshapes every part of our lives, the often messy wrestle for hope, and why stories are such a vital part of nurturing faith in the valley of pain.
If you’ve ever believed that hope simply means “looking on the bright side,” this conversation will remind you that true hope is far more complex—gritty, raw, and worth fighting for. And often, it’s the stories of others that become our most powerful weapon in that fight.
What do we do when people fail us in our greatest time of need? How can the church do a better job at entering into people's pain and walking with them in their stories?
Dr. Michelle Keener walked through her own season of suffering and eventually found herself deep diving into Biblical research on the book of Job in the Bible through the lens of trauma. It was through her scholarly research that she was able to find principles that applied to her own pain and to the Church at large when it comes to helping trauma survivors. In her book Comfort in the Ashes: Explorations in the Book of Job to Support Trauma Survivors, she connects the story of Job-a man who knew incredible trauma and pain-to practical ways individuals and the church can show up in suffering.
In this insightful episode, Aubrey sits with Dr. Keener to discuss how we can connect our own personal experiences of trauma to those in scripture, why the church struggles to help those who are hurting, and how the gospel applies to pain.
If you've ever needed people to meet you in your pain and didn't find the support available or if you've ever struggled to know how to step into the pain of someone else, this conversation is a gentle reminder of how we can steward each other's stories well as we move through grief and trauma in life and how God is always there to comfort us in the ashes.
What do we do with the secrets that keep us hidden in shame and despair? How do we tell our story in such a way that we can experience the true freedom that God has for us?
For author, entrepreneur, and founder of Auntie Anne's Pretzels, Anne Beiler, the pain that came after losing a child in a tragic accident and the abuse she experienced at the hands of someone who should have helped her in her suffering, left her despairing and empty. It was only when she brought her secrets out of the dark and into the light that she was set free from the bondage of shame and pain that were set on destroying her. She shares her journey in her latest book, “The Secret Lies Within: An Inside Out Look at Overcoming Trauma and Finding Purpose in the Pain”.
In this tender conversation, Aubrey sits with Anne to talk about how the Holy Spirit can help us in our suffering, the power that is found in sharing our painful secrets, and how to let go of the shame that grips us.
If you've ever found yourself drowning in the shame of a secret from your past, this episode will encourage you to find a safe person to share your pain with and experience the freedom of being known and bringing the darkness into the light.
What do you do when the people of God fail and you find yourself questioning God because of it? How do you deconstruct your misunderstandings about God, His people and life without deconstructing your faith altogether?
For author, Bible teacher, and medical doctor Lina AbuJamra healing from the hurt she experienced from her church led her on an unexpected journey in her faith. What started as a deep disappointment in people led her to feeling let down by God. It took a lot of time and realizations that what she had come to believe about God and how He worked wasn't based on His truth and that perhaps deconstructing the falsehoods and misunderstandings about God, wasn't a bad thing. However, as things were being taken apart in her understanding of who God was, she also needed to reconstruct what was true so that her faith would strengthen rather than fade away. It wasn't a quick process, but a holy one and one that she wrote about in her book, Fractured Faith: Finding Your Way Back to God in an Age of Deconstruction.
In this helpful conversation, Aubrey and Lina talk about why deconstruction is often rooted in our disappointments, ways in which we can heal from Church hurt, and how sometimes our doubts, questions and hurt can lead us into a deeper faith.
If you or someone you know has walked through being hurt by the Church and has found themselves unraveling, this episode will encourage you that perhaps through your hurt, God is wanting to rebuild in you a stronger, more resilient faith and life in Him.
How do we lean into the tensions of life--the now and not yet? What does it look like to press into the different seasons as they come instead of constantly wanting something different?
Author and artist Ruth Chou Simons knows what it is like to live in the hidden places as a mom to six boys. For years, her life centered around changing diapers, preparing meals and bandaging scraped knees. But it was in that time that God taught her the importance of stewarding what she had been given. It was in that mundane, quiet season that God cultivated in her a reliance upon Him. Now, she is a well-known author and artist for her company, Gracelaced, but she will be the first to tell you that her work is simply an overflow of those quiet, hidden, faithful years of doing the work God had called her to in her family. Her latest book, Now and Not Yet: Pressing in When You’re Waiting, Wanting, and Restless for More, looks at how to handle those times where your soul is waiting or feeling restless and how to trust God when life isn't what you thought it would be.
In this episode, Davey and Ruth have a meaningful discussion about the importance of recognizing your season in life, what restlessness could really be a symptom of, and how so often, we become what we behold.
If you have felt yourself in a time of waiting or feeling restless, this conversation will remind you that even in the hidden, unseen moments of your life, God is inviting you to trust and know Him more.
Warning: This episode discusses loss by suicide and may not be suitable for all listeners.
What do we do when it comes to understanding God's role in the events of our lives? How do we interpret the pain we endure, the evil that exists in the world and God's sovereignty in it all?
For author and professor of Old Testament Ingrid Faro, it was her own personal experience of pain and evil that led her to dig deeply into scripture in order to better understand how God works in the midst of suffering. Having experienced domestic abuse and divorce, a remarriage than ended when her husband died by suicide, and so much more, Ingrid began to ask questions when it came to pain and suffering and evil in our experience as humans. It was through her own story and scholarly study that she wrote Demystifying Evil: A Biblical and Personal Exploration, in which she examines the impact of evil and how to undo its power in our lives.
In this episode, Aubrey and Ingrid talk about how our stories can lead us to our life's work, the power of lament and what to do in the face of evil.
If you've ever struggled to make sense of the things that have been done to you, this conversation is a reminder that God can handle all our anger and questions, doubts and fears, and invites us to be honest with the pain that we are experiencing.
How can you believe that God's good work will be done in a story that begins with so much loss and tragedy? Where can you find miracles in pain and life's difficulties?
For author, Bible teacher, and ministry leader Joyce Dalrymple, opening her eyes to the way the Lord was moving in her own life and through her daughter's adoption required intentional attention. By starting to notice the way God was bringing redemption into their stories, she began to experience a deeper understanding of how God is always at work. Seeing her daughter practice empathy birthed out of her pain was a reminder that even our greatest wounds can become a well of goodness if we allow the transformation to come from the power of the Holy Spirit's work within us.
In this insightful conversation, Aubrey sits down with Joyce to discuss how adoption involves so much loss and grief, the importance of learning to rest in your belovedness as a parent, and how to practically help foster and adoptive families. In addition, they touch on how to navigate church hurt with a wider perspective that can help you see the good in what the global church is doing and how that can keep you connected to a community of faith.
If you or someone you know is an adoptive or foster family or if you've ever struggled to see the good in your pain, this episode will encourage you that miracles are always beyond the surface of our hurt if we can learn to see them.
What do we do with the hard questions that arise from the pain we are feeling? How do we acknowledge our fears and our doubts while holding onto our faith?
For author Kristen LaValley, the process of moving from a formulaic faith that believed God wouldn't allow pain if she did all the right things into a genuine, messy belief and understanding of God came through several seasons of suffering. From losing her and her husband's ministry position and faith community to witnessing a murder, the loss of a baby and a very traumatic birth experience with her twins, Kristen had to untangle her belief in a God that neatly healed and fixed every pain into the true nature of who God was and how so often it is His presence that He offers us in our heartbreaks. Now, Kristen and her husband help others walking through questions in their faith and spiritual wounds by giving them the same space to ask and process that they received from others in their journey.
In this insightful conversation, Davey talks with Kristen about how what we believe about God shapes how we experience suffering, the way in which suffering shapes who we believe God to be and why wrestling is so important in moving from a transactional relationship with the Lord into a true and authentic one.
If you've ever struggled with questions about God's goodness in the seasons of your difficulties, this episode will help normalize the grappling and undoing we all have to do about our beliefs about God in order to learn who He truly is.
What does grace have to do with our suffering? How do we experience the fullness of who God is when life is full of pain?
Author and journalist Philip Yancey has long sought out to understood the role grace plays in life and in our hurt. Having walked through a difficult childhood and untangling his understanding of God from church legalism steeped in racism and sin, Philip has offered what he has learned along the way to his readers through his many books, including his latest, Where the Light Fell: A Memoir. Philip is no stranger to the hard questions that can plague a lifelong pursuit of Jesus and his words have been a guide for so many in their own journeys.
In this conversation, Davey and Philip talk about the importance of grace and how it is tested, how those who are most desperate for Jesus find Him, and why pain redeemed can do more than pain removed.
If you've ever struggled to reconcile the God you know through misguided teachings from others with the true nature of God, this episode will help you find your way to the offer of grace that Jesus extends.
What do we do when the things we are seeing in church or with Christian leaders is leading to disillusionment? How do we deal with the disappointment in the ways Christians behave in the public square, online and in the pews?
Author and Editor in Chief Dr. Russell Moore has experienced the pain of denominational turmoil and sharp political disagreements that have led to hurtful slander and unkind discourse. He has found himself at the center of conflicts that he never intended to be a part of. It was through his own personal experiences and the experiences of others that he began to consider the ways in which the American Church was drifting from the heart and purposes of Jesus. In his book, Losing Our Religion: An Altar Call for Evangelical America, Moore explores how the American Church has lost its way and offers an invitation to repentance as a new start forward.
In this conversation, Dr. Moore sits down with guest co-host, Eric Schumacher and discusses how to navigate the current cultural unrest as believers, what to do with our disillusionment in the Church, and how to help our friends who are struggling to trust in God based on the behaviors of those claiming to follow Him.
If you've struggled with the headlines of fallen leaders and the vitriol of those proclaiming Christ in the midst of current affairs and have been left feeling like the American Church doesn't align with the way of Christ, this episode will give you hope that nothing we are experiencing in this generation is a surprise to Jesus and He is not done yet with His bride.
Women are leaving churches in record numbers at higher rates than ever before. Yet, all of us are in need of healthy community more than ever. What is causing this mass exodus and how can the Church and women recognize their need for one another?
Journalist and author Ericka Andersen wanted to know why and started to investigate the staggering statistics. In turn, she found the deeper reasons such a vital part of the body of Christ was finding its way to the exit. She offers an explanation of why this is happening plus an encouraging call for women to reengage in the Church in her book, Reason to Return: Why Women Need the Church and the Church Needs Women. There she encourages women to see not only their need for Christ-centered community, but also the Church's need for the unique gifts of women. In it, she also shares her personal journey with alcoholism and how the Church played such a vital role in her own healing.
In this episode, Davey sits down with Ericka to discuss how women are leaving the Church at faster rates than ever before, how the anger of those who leave is often not against God, and why it is so important to go first and create a safe space for people to share their stories with vulnerability.
If you've found yourself ready to quit the Church because of the wounds that people have inflicted upon your or if you've left Church and don't know how to take the first step back towards community, this conversation will encourage you that even in its brokenness, the people of God are an integral part of our lives of faith.
How do you persevere in the face of unending challenges and difficult circumstances? Where can you find the strength to keep going when life tries to knock you down over and over again?
For Dr. Danisha Keating, building resilience seemed impossible after a traumatic childhood filled with abuse and moving in and out of the foster care system. Her journey in life was hard, at one point leading her to be a caretaker for her younger siblings while in college and yet she persevered to graduate and go on to earn her PhD.
Now, she spends her life reaching back into the fire, encouraging kids walking a similar journey in the foster care system, to know that their lives have promise and hope beyond their current circumstances. In all the trials she has endured, Dr. Keating has anchored her hope in the Lord and her identity in Him.
In this episode, Davey sits down with Dr. Keating to discuss what it looks like to build resilience in a life that is full of difficulty, the power of community in encouraging those low on hope, and how healing can lead us into a life of purpose in helping those who are walking the road we once did.
This conversation will leave you inspired as you hear how even the most dire of circumstances can forge a deep-seated resilience in our hearts as we move forward into a future filled with possibility.
What do you do when you realize the things you've been taught don't quite match up with God's Word? How do you navigate when what you believed to be true of the body of Christ doesn't hold up when you need care and protection?
For Carlie Tice Cleveland, experiencing an abusive relationship was painful enough yet more hurt was heaped upon her when the response of Christian leaders was shaming and blaming. It was through that difficult season that Carlie began to rightfully question some of the lessons she had learned through the years about purity.
Her questions led her to untangle some prescriptive religious rules that ignored the heart of God's purpose in pursuing purity. In this episode, Carlie and Davey talk about the heart of the matter when it comes to sexual ethics, warning signs in abusive relationships and the importance of deconstructing ideas that don't align with scripture.
This conversation is so important for those who know or love young people who may be wrestling with what purity truly means.
It seems like every day we hear about yet another abuse of power from a political, spiritual or business leader. It can make you wonder how many people saw something before the ultimate downfall.
For Tiffany Bluhm, there was not only the pain of witnessing an abuse of power but also the pain of remaining unheard even after she spoke up against the injustice she saw.
In this episode, Tiffany and Davey talk about what we can do when we come face to face with an abuse of power either as a victim or a bystander and how we can all work together to follow Christ's example of honoring every human being irregardless of status in power structures.
Learning to boldly speak up, whatever our position may be, is an invitation from Jesus to promote justice and recognize the Imago Dei in each and every person.
What happens when the place that is supposed to be a source of comfort ends up causing you some of the greatest pain of your life?
The avenue God created for both healing and sharing the good news of the gospel can sometimes be where many of us are intentionally or unintentionally wounded by the people within its doors.
In this episode, Davey sits down with author Catherine McNiel as she tenderly shares her experience with being wounded by the Church. As a young girl, Catherine felt completely abandoned by the community she once knew and found herself grappling well into adulthood with how to trust again in the context of Church.
Where fear threatened to keep her isolated, God offered her another way, the way of love. No matter what the cause of church hurt may be, accepting God's invitation into love and freedom rather than fear and distrust is the only way forward.
At a young age, Naomi Widmer experienced sexual and spiritual abuse that would haunt her for years to come. Naomi would go on to carry the pain of these early events for decades, unable to find true healing anywhere she looked. That is, until she met Teresa Glantz.
Teresa’s story is not too dissimilar from Naomi’s. She’s gone through similar pain and trauma, and has walked a long, hard healing journey. Teresa is one of our Pain to Purpose Certified Guides, and she walked Naomi step by step along a path that has led to true, lasting healing.
Naomi and Teresa sit down with Davey to share their story of finding each other and how Teresa’s pain journey led to her being an agent of healing in Naomi’s life.
We often expect pastors to have it all put together, to be the one’s who’s lives are so in order that they can help others with their own. Just a few years ago, Ken Baugh was just one such pastor.
But when a season of burnout found Ken without a job and questioning his ministry, it was only then that he found his true purpose in understanding God’s work in our minds on a whole new level.
Ken sits down with Davey to share about his journey and how he’s using what he’s learned to help countless others.
This month on the Nothing is Wasted Podcast - you can join in on this conversation about pain, joy, heartache, and healing. Part one is all about Ally and her journey through heartache and how she's turning it into purpose and healing.
This month on the Nothing is Wasted Podcast - you can join in on this conversation about pain, joy, heartache, and healing. Part one is all about Ally and her journey through heartache and how she's turning it into purpose and healing.
Masterclasses:
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Some of our greatest pain can come from those we expected to care for and shepherd our souls through suffering. It can be hard to separate who God is from the hurt His people have caused.
How do you move through the pain or abuse that you suffered at the hands of those within your church?
Natalie Runion knows what it is like to feel deeply wounded and disappointed by those who profess Christ. She knows the fallout that can happen when a community turns its back on you and your pain. And yet, as she allowed God to heal her pain, she created a space for others disillusioned and hurt from church or ministry leaders, to hold on to hope and to stay. Her Raised to Stay Community on Instagram includes almost 200,000 followers that walk with her as she contends for healthy and whole churches and ministries.
In this masterclass, Natalie shares what to do When People Fail: Healing from Church Hurt and will help you:
Find ways to heal from church hurt you’ve experienced
Identify the counterfeit connections that can lead to wounding
Begin to work through the process of forgiveness
If you are struggling to reconcile the pain caused by God’s people to who God is in your pain, this masterclass will help you sort it out and find a way forward in healing when people fail you.
Resources
Website: https://natalierunion.com/
Instagram: www.instagram.com/raisedtostay
Facebook: www.facebook.com/groups/Raisedtostay
Book: The House That Jesus Built: Leading Our Churches Back to God’s Original Blueprint
Book: Raised to Stay: Persevering in Ministry When You Have a Million Reasons to Walk Away
Nothing is Wasted Episode 287 - Raised To Stay After Church Hurt With Natalie Runion https://www.nothingiswasted.com/podcast1/episode-287
Bonus Episodes:
We’d all like to believe that churches are always safe places, that pastors are always safe people. No one wants to believe that a spiritual leader has anything but the best of intentions or would ever do anything to harm anyone else. But sadly, the men and women at the top of our spiritual hierarchies are no more immune to this fallen world than the rest of us. Jill Monaco has learned firsthand the horrors of spiritual abuse, and now she sits down with Davey to share more of what she’s learned in this conversation for our Nothing Is Wasted Monthly Partners.
Live Events:
Pain to Purpose Coaching
Need someone to walk with you through your valley? Our Nothing is Wasted Certified Coaches are ready to help you find your way from pain into purpose. Hire yours today by scheduling a free connection call and we’ll help you started with one-on-one help.
Have you found this Pathway helpful? Be sure to check out our other Pathways for more inspiring stories of hope in the face of tragedy, trauma and pain.
Let these Pathways be a roadmap for you on your healing journey.
How can the Church move from constantly referring people in pain elsewhere to becoming the first place people turn for healing? What would it look like to create spaces where everyday believers are equipped with the tools to step into the hurt of those they encounter?
Social researcher Shaunti Feldhahn and psychologist Dr. James Sells recognized that the mental health crisis in our country was at an all-time high, and they wanted to understand how churches were responding to those who are hurting. As they dove deep into the research, they discovered a striking contrast: some churches were effectively equipping lay people to care for and minister to those in need, while many church leaders felt overwhelmed, unsure of where to even begin. Through their research, they identified key principles that helped churches succeed in caring for hurting people, which they captured in their book, When Hurting People Come to Church: How People of Faith Can Help Solve the Mental Health Crisis.
In this episode, Davey, Shaunti, and Dr. Sells discuss why it is critical for the Church to be on the frontlines of healing, how to cast a vision for the Church as a place of help and hope, and what it truly means to be present with people in their pain.
If you are a church leader or part of a church community, this conversation will encourage you to take meaningful next steps toward building communities that bring hope and healing to those who need it most—and to see how this kind of care can become one of the most powerful ways to share the good news of the gospel with those around us.