Helping Children Through Grief, Loss, and Trauma
When a child experiences grief, loss, or trauma, it can show up in ways that are confusing, unexpected, and at times overwhelming—for both the child and the adult walking alongside them. Children often don’t have the words to express what they’re feeling, so their pain may surface through behavior, withdrawal, big emotions, or questions that are hard to answer. Caregivers may find themselves wondering: How do I help them feel safe again? What do they need from me right now? Am I saying or doing the right things?
This pathway is designed to gently guide you as you support a child navigating difficult experiences. You’ll hear from caregivers, professionals, and individuals who reflect on their own childhood experiences of grief and trauma. Together, they offer insight into how children process pain, how trust and safety can be rebuilt, and how healing unfolds over time. While there is no perfect way to walk a child through loss or trauma, your presence matters more than perfection. With patience, support, and understanding, it is possible to help a child move toward healing, resilience, and a renewed sense of security—one step at a time.
Podcast Episodes:
How do you get back up after a life-shattering loss? How do you find hope when you must surrender to God the life you thought you’d have?
Courtney Pray Duke was living her dream with her husband, Andrew, and their three young children when one day changed everything. As she was putting the finishing touches on Thanksgiving preparations, Andrew—an avid cyclist—went out for a bike ride. Just a few hours later, Courtney received the call that divided her life into a before and after: her husband had been hit by a vehicle and did not survive.
In the depths of unimaginable grief, Courtney clung to God and slowly discovered the hope she had in Him in her darkest season. She shares that journey through heartbreak, faith, and restoration in her book, And She Got Up: Shattered by Loss, Restored by Jesus.
In this episode, Davey talks with Courtney about the power of surrender in the midst of pain, how to discern where God is leading when life takes an unexpected turn, and why remarriage after loss can be both beautiful and complicated as families blend and grief continues to be honored.
If you’ve ever wondered how you could possibly get back up after being shattered by loss, this conversation will point you to the healing and hope that can be found as Jesus restores us—step by step—along the journey.
What do we do when pain and trauma affect our children? How can we guide them through the complex journey of grief and loss?
Erin Nelson has walked through depths of sorrow that few can imagine. She lost her first husband in a sudden plane crash, her mother to suicide, and her young adult son in a tragic car accident. Having experienced grief in its rawest forms, Erin found healing—and through it, a calling. She channeled her pain into purpose by founding Jessica's House, a grief support center for children, teens, and their families.
As Jessica's House has grown, Erin has partnered with others who share her heart, including Colleen Montague, a licensed therapist and the center’s program director. Together, they co-authored When Grief Comes Home: A Gentle Guide for Living Through Loss While Supporting Your Child, a compassionate resource designed to help families facing the unimaginable.
In this deeply meaningful conversation, Davey sits down with Erin and Colleen to explore how our most painful experiences can become the foundation for our life’s purpose, how to recognize what grief looks like in children, and how to have honest conversations with kids about loss.
If you or someone you love is trying to help a child navigate grief, this episode offers practical tools and guidance for supporting young hearts through profound hurt.
How can we help a child who may not have the words to express their own grief? How can communities be support systems to those who have adopted?
Cameron Lee Small's story began with loss. At the age of three years old, he was adopted from his birth country of South Korea and placed in a home thousands of miles away in America. As he grew up and began to understand the complexity of emotions that can arise as an adoptee, he realized the need for support and care for others who shared his journey.
Through his practice as counselor and his interactions with other adoptees and their families, Cameron has seen the impact loss and trauma can play in the lives of those who have walked this path. And because of his own personal experience, he has been able to help adoptees and their families navigate a way forward towards healing. In his book, The Adoptee’s Journey: From Loss and Trauma to Healing and Empowerment, Cameron shares glimpses of his story and search for his birth mother as well as practical ways adoptees can regain their sense of agency and identity in the complexities of their story.
In this insightful conversation, Davey talks with Cameron about the kinds of questions that can come in an adoptee, how parents and caregivers can help children regulate who have experienced trauma, and why it is so important for churches to be adoption informed so that they can best serve families who adopt.
If you are an adoptee or an adoptive parent or you know someone who is, this episode will help you understand the nuances of the emotional experience many adoptees feel and how you can love and serve those who have welcomed children into their home through adoption.
Theologian Dallas Willard was once asked how he would describe Jesus in just 1 word. He replied with the word: relaxed. How can we learn to walk and live like Jesus in a world that wants us to go as fast as we can? What does it look like to deeply trust and surrender when we are walking through pain?
For author and pastor Megan Fate Marshman, those were hard questions to answer after losing her husband, Randy, suddenly to a heart attack. Learning to relax into Christ through the grief and loss was a challenge, but in it she learned to move at a Kingdom pace. She wrote her latest book, “Relaxed: Walking with the One Who Is Not Worried about a Thing”, as a way to help readers let go of spiritual performance and find freedom to walk towards God at a gentle pace.
In this episode, Aubrey and Megan discuss how to even begin to relax in the presence of Jesus in the midst of our suffering, what it looks like to walk with kids through their grief, and what leadership looks like when we are hurting.
If you find yourself caught in the wheel of doing instead of being with Jesus, this conversation will welcome you into the relaxing surrender of God's presence and the freedom to release all your cares to Him.
How do we begin to help young children understand loss? What can we do to help little ones grieve while we are walking through it alongside them?
For author, speaker, and podcaster Annie F. Downs, these questions became real when her infant nephew, TJ, passed away from a severe medical condition less than two months after he was born. Wanting to help her sister, Tatum Green, and her young son, Sam, process through this loss, Annie did what she was uniquely gifted to do. She wrote Sam a book to help him as he tried to grasp the loss of his little brother. Once it was written, Annie and Tatum knew that this book needed to be offered to other families beyond theirs who were trying to figure out through how to walk young kids through unimaginable losses and so together, they created the final version, “Where did TJ Go? A Book for Kids on Grief and Loss”. In it, they help children ask the hard questions that can come when they lose someone they love and find hope through the Gospel.
In this honest conversation, Davey sits with Annie and Tatum to talk about how a loss impacts a whole family, the best ways we can show up for those we love in their grief, and what we learn about the mystery of God through the rawness of our struggles and questions.
If you or someone you love is trying to navigate how to guide a young child through loss, this episode will encourage you that while it can be hard and difficult, simply giving kids the space to ask tough questions and talk about what they are feeling is the first step in walking them through the pain of grief and finding hope along the way.
How can you find hope when life shatters before your eyes? How can you continue to believe in the goodness of God after tragedy?
For young mom Kellie Bullard, she couldn't imagine how quickly life could change. In an ordinary night, her life was turned completely upside down when her husband, Alex, died in a car accident less than a mile from their home. What was once a picture perfect life was ripped apart as she was left grieving the loss of her husband with a seven week old baby and a 2 year old. But even in the midst of her greatest pain, God showed up in small and tangible ways along her journey towards healing. She wrote about the truth of her grief and what God taught her along the way in her new book, Behind My Smile: Finding Hope When Life Leaves You Feeling Shattered.
In this episode, Davey talks to Kellie about what it looks like to step out in faith when life is uncertain, how we can see God in our story, and the ways in which we can help young kids through their experience of grief and loss.
If you've ever experienced life changing in an instant, this conversation you show you how to see the goodness of God and find hope again amidst the shattered pieces of the life you once knew.
What does redemption look like in our stories of pain and suffering? How do we step into the story of someone we love and hold space for them?
For Nothing is Wasted co-founder, Kristi Blackburn, learning to be a place of refuge and healing for her husband, Davey, and son, Weston, years after they lost their first wife and mom, Amanda, has been no simple task. In the messiness of grief, blending families, and navigating the impact of trauma, Kristi has had to step into the call of being a wife and mother without a manual but only the grace of God to guide her. She has had to learn how to do it all from a place of faith and not fear, while also tending to her own story of shame, loss and grief. While it hasn't been easy, she has found that in the midst of it all, God has given her the strength and wisdom she has needed to be a source of healing and help to both Davey and Weston as they continue to put the pieces together of their shattered hearts.
In this heartwarming episode, Davey and Kristi have the opportunity to share candidly about what it has been like to step into each other's pain, the difference between redemption and restoration, and how to parent kids who have faced the unimaginable.
If you've ever struggled to see God's redemption plan play out in your story, this conversation will show you that perhaps it already has and you just haven't recognized it yet.
How do you learn to feel the pain instead of just filling it? What does surrender look like when we've entered a story that we never imagined for ourselves?
On this first ever live Nothing is Wasted podcast episode from the Nothing is Wasted Book Launch event, Davey and Kristi Blackburn are joined by Daniel and Brittany Brooker to discuss the messy road of healing and redemption. The Brookers know pain--having both lost a spouse at a young age while parenting small children. Their process towards healing and hope and finding one another along the way has been full of incredible joy and difficult heartaches. Finding friendship with the Blackburns, another couple who understands the impact of trauma on a marriage and children and who are also blending together a family, has been a gift in the journey of grief, loss, and redemption.
In this conversation, the Blackburns and the Brookers discuss why we have to feel our pain and not just fill it, the importance of surrender in our deepest valleys, and how God gives us people along the way that can be a part of his healing plan for us.
If you've ever struggled to allow yourself the opportunity to really feel the emotions that come from a loss or your unique path of suffering, this episode will help you to realize that healing cannot happen until you admit there is hurt and allow God to meet you in the messy middle of it.
What do we do with all of our limitations? How do we begin to reframe the limits of our bodies and our lives in a way that allows God to use the boundary lines He has placed around us?
For speaker, author and mom of seven, Sara Hagerty, it was the many limits of her journey with infertility, motherhood, walking her kids through their own pain and grief after adoption, and the daily reminders of her finite ability to deal with all the challenges she was facing that led her to look at what God may be doing in her limitations. In her latest book, The Gift of Limitations: Finding Beauty in Your Boundaries, Sara explores how our limits may actually be the grace of God rather than a withholding of something better.
In this insightful conversation, Davey and Sara talk about what God may be doing in our limitations, how we can find the beauty in the small, and the power of naming our limits.
If you've ever found yourself discouraged by the very things that reveal your humanity, this episode will encourage you to reframe the way you see the boundaries in your life and find beauty in the gift of your God-given limitations.
WARNING: This episode contains conversations about suicide and suicide ideation and may not be suitable for all listeners/viewers.
How do you help a child in your life walk through an unimaginable trauma? How can you begin to navigate their emotions as well as your own when life turns upside down?
For Jessye and Ryan Wilden figuring out how to walk through their own pain of losing Ryan's sister, Rena, in a homicide/suicide that took her life and the life of her husband, Danny, has been difficult enough. Taking in their niece and nephew and navigating their grief and loss in losing both their parents has required wisdom and discernment from God for a circumstance that doesn't have a manual. Add to it the collective grief that people felt after losing two beloved members of their community, it could feel impossible to ever get out from under the depths of suffering. And yet, Jessye and Ryan found a way through as they relied on the Lord each step of the way. In her book, We Wrote Your Name In Color, Jessye shares the messy process of healing, redemption, and grace found in their story.
Davey sits down with Jessye and Ryan to talk about what you even do in the aftermath of the unimaginable, how to walk kids through their own pain and healing, and the value of having a community in the midst of tragedy.
You may never walk through something as painful as the Wilden's have, but the way they've seen God in the middle of their heartbreak will encourage you as you navigate your own valley.
Parenting is complicated whichever way you come into it. When grief and trauma are part of the equation, it can add even more layers to navigate. How do you sit in the messiness of adoption and fostering while learning to see the joys and the wins in the midst of it?
For Jillana Goble, it has been through the challenges of parenting via birth, foster care, and adoption that she has learned to welcome the invitations the Lord offers in the tensions of it all. As she said yes to the difficulties and joys, she has seen her own understanding of God and family widen in an unimaginable way. She has learned that parenting of any kind does not come with a road map or a formula with a promise, but rather it is the small, daily obediences to say yes to loving our children well in all circumstances. It is there that we begin to see God show up in places that were once thought to be irrevocably broken.
In this conversation, Davey sits down with Jillana to discuss the often complicated nature of adoption and fostering that we don't always see as well as how understanding how integrated we are-mind, body and soul-can help us love kids who have gone through unfathomable loss and trauma and how in it all, Jesus shows up in the mess.
Whether you have adopted or fostered or know someone who has, this episode will help you see that God invites us to know Him more through the imperfect and often difficult stories we all walk through.
Perhaps one of the greatest questions that comes after trauma or tragedy is how do we help our kids navigate pain? What do we as parents need to look for after loss or in the everyday struggles that kids are facing? When do we need to bring in an expert to help and what can we do in the in between?
David Thomas knows all too well the questions that emerge when families encounter crisis and the everyday difficulties plaguing our children. As a licensed counselor at Daystar Counseling in Nashville, TN, he has met with hundreds of kids and has walked with them through all sorts of challenges from trauma, grief and loss to anxiety and depression. What he has noticed in his clinical experience is that above all else, kids need parents willing to do the same emotional work of healing that they are wanting for their children. When we as parents start to look at our own stories, we can better help our children through theirs.
In this practical and timely conversation, Davey sits down with David to discuss why we need to do our own work as parents, the importance of following our child's lead after pain, understanding behavior as communication as well as how to help kids navigate anxiety and technology.
If you are struggling to know what to do with the pain or challenges your child is experiencing, this episode is full of helpful wisdom to help you parent well in the midst of it.
According to current statistics, we are facing a crisis when it comes to mental health and our kids. With an increase in suicide rates, depression and anxiety, many kids and teens are facing so much more than they can begin to know how to handle. What can we do as adults to be a safe place for a young person? How can we help a child heal from trauma and crisis?
Kim Tschirret knew from her own personal story as a child with an abusive and alcoholic father that healing was possible through Christ and the help of a seemingly unlikely source: horses. Kim found solace in spending time with a horse as a young girl and knew that others could find healing too by engaging with these magnificent animals. It is what led her to start Hope Reins, a non-profit organization in Raleigh, NC, that "pairs kids in crisis with rescued horses to find hope and healing." What has transpired is a beautiful story of redemption as horses and children, both facing painful emotional wounds, have found healing through the power of their connection with one another. Since its' inception in 2010, Hope Reins has helped over 2,600 kids in crisis at no-cost to the families it serves.
Davey sits down with Kim to talk about how our past pain can lead us into an incredible redemption story for others, what kids need to feel safe, and how any adult can be a trusted source of hope in a hurting child's life.
Resiliency after trauma is possible and Kim's story shows us what a powerful salve love can be for both discarded animals and wounded hearts in the quest for restoration.
In this special bonus episode, Gary and Kathy continue their conversation with Davey and Kristi about how God turns our mourning into morning, how to blend families well, and more.
Gary and Kathy Stump are no strangers to the difficulties that come with blending families. Gary’s life and the lives of his four children were changed forever when Gary’s wife was killed in a car accident. Now Gary and his wife Kathy sit down with Davey and Kristi to talk about remarriage, blending families, and how we can make sure our trials aren’t wasted.
Daniel and Brittany found each other in the midst of their pain, and before long their two families became one. They sat down with Davey and Kristi for a conversation on loss, remarriage, blending families, and more.
Daniel and Brittany found each other in the midst of their pain, and before long their two families became one. They sat down with Davey and Kristi for a conversation on loss, remarriage, blending families, and more.
Davey continues his conversation with Amanda's mom and sister as they talk about how pain has changed them, raising children in the wake of tragedy, how to help someone going through loss, and more.
Davey sits down with Amanda's mother and sister to talk about their family relationship, dealing with grief, questioning God, and more.
Masterclasses:
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How do I help my child heal from the pain they are experiencing?
It is hard enough to journey towards healing as an adult, but watching your kids suffer adds more and more layers to the complicated process of navigating our valleys.
How do we begin to help them wrestle through their difficult emotions and the suffering they are experiencing? How do we walk through it with them when we ourselves are trying to figure it all out?
It could be a recent loss ,a divorce, a big move, blending of families or some other major change that can cause both adults and kids to find themselves lost in a sea of feelings.
What if there was a way to help kids heal in the midst of whatever they are going through?
Dr. Josh Straub has been helping families learn the way to become emotionally safe and how to help kids untangle the web of emotions they are feeling. Through his podcast and book, Famous at Home and other resources such as the children’s book on emotional regulation called What Am I Feeling?, Josh, along with his wife Christi, are encouraging families to build healthy connections and emotionally safe relationships with a Biblical foundation and science-backed research.
In this masterclass, Josh shares about Helping Kids Heal: Entering Your Child's World in Grief, Loss, and Transition.
This masterclass will help you:
Learn why emotional safety is the key to entering our child's world and develop an understanding of the circle of security
How the brain grows and how emotional overwhelm influences the nervous system
Implement 6 ways to be emotionally safe for your kids
It can feel impossible to walk kids through pain, but by entering their world, you can begin to help kids heal from whatever they are facing.
Resources
Website: www.famousathome.com
Instagram: www.instagram.com/famousathome
www.instagram.com/joshua.straub
Facebook: www.facebook.com/drjoshandchristi
Book: Famous at Home: 7 Decisions to Put Your Family Center Stage in a World Competing for Your Time, Attention, and Identity
Bonus Episodes:
Live Events:
Pain to Purpose Coaching
Need someone to walk with you through your valley? Our Nothing is Wasted Certified Coaches are ready to help you find your way from pain into purpose. Hire yours today by scheduling a free connection call and we’ll help you started with one-on-one help.
Have you found this Pathway helpful? Be sure to check out our other Pathways for more inspiring stories of hope in the face of tragedy, trauma and pain.
Let these Pathways be a roadmap for you on your healing journey.
What does it look like to discover who God is when you experience profound loss at a young age? How can a teenager find their identity in Christ while navigating grief and pain?
For actress and author Alena Franklin, the sudden and tragic loss of her mother, Wynter, at just 14 years old left her reeling through some of the most formative years of her life. Carrying the weight of grief while also trying to grow up was an overwhelming challenge. Though it didn't always feel that way in the moment, Alena can now look back and see the many ways God met her in the midst of her sorrow and faithfully walked with her through the healing process.
Today, Alena continues her mother's legacy of investing in teenage girls and young women. Through her book, God Is — A Devotional for Teen Girls & Young Women: 60 Days of Learning Who God Is to Understand Who We Are, she helps young women deepen their understanding of God's character and discover their identity in Christ.
In this conversation, Davey and Alena discuss how loss can leave us feeling disoriented at any age, what grieving teens need most from the adults who care for them, and why helping the next generation root their identity in Christ is more important than ever.
If you're walking alongside a teenager who is struggling to make sense of life after loss, this episode offers a powerful reminder: they don't need you to fix their pain or have all the answers—they simply need your presence as they move through it.