This project was conceived out of hurt, nurtured through healing, and will be delivered as hope. Discovering hope for yourself after hurt takes time, but it can be transferred in a moment. Sometimes you need to borrow other people’s faith when your faith is faltering.

I decided to write Part 2 and Part 3 as if I were sitting down with Weston when he's 22 years old, dating a girl, and getting ready to pop the question. These are the questions I’d ask him:

Now that I reflect on Amanda and our relationship I think to myself, how in the world did I know she was "the one" for me? There must have been some indicators. There must of been some tell-tales that made me fall so head-over heels, that compelled me to put so many of my personal ambitions and dreams lower on the priority list in order to pursue her heart.

Tragedy - especially death - has a way of clarifying things. When you lose the most important person in your life you begin to take inventory of what really matters. Eternity seems so palpable you can taste it. And, if you’ll let Him, Jesus will use your pain to cause your heart to beat more fervently for what makes His heart beat.

My assistant makes me try new things .... so I did a Q&A on Facebook LIVE  (well at least we tried) and Instagram LIVE this week! We had a great time and got a lot of great questions!

I want to be intentional to teach him that Jesus has still blessed us even though we've lost the most important person in our world. I want him to see that we get to go to some fun places because his mommy loved Jesus very much and people are inspired by her life.

This was the last book Amanda was reading when she went to be with Jesus. It was more than just a book. It was the way she lived her life. 

Lately I’ve been having flashbacks. I’m not sure if they call this Post Traumatic Stress Disorder or not, but there have been multiple times over the past couple weeks where my mind almost involuntarily drifts to the morning I walked in and found Amanda.

It took me three months after Amanda was killed before I could go back into my house. I couldn’t bring myself to face the scene where I found her. I couldn’t muster up the courage to willingly walk back into those horrific memories. But I want you to know something that happened while I was in the house. I want you to see how, if you’ll let it, God’s Word can direct you in truth to comfort your unknowns.

On November 11th, 2016, the 1-year anniversary of Amanda’s death, the Resonate Band will be recording a live worship album. These songs are powerful reminders to us of God’s faithfulness even in the most horrific of circumstances.

From day one I recognized this was not just a physical attack, but a spiritual one. There was no other way I could understand how all this could have happened in the hour and a half I was gone from my house, other than this was a strategically mapped out, carefully plotted ploy by evil powers that live in the supernatural realm and have been given dominion of this world.

From day one, anytime someone would talk about those last 45 minutes, it was too much for me to handle. In fact, I think the Lord knew it was too much for me to handle. So I believe He gave me this one truth to hang my heart on until He could show me other truths.

Over the next 4 weeks, every Monday, I’m going to share my journey of healing with you. I’m going to share with you what I feel like the Lord has showed me. I don’t know for sure everything that happened in those last 45 minutes of Amanda’s life, either in the natural realm or the supernatural one, but the truths I’ll share with you the next 4 weeks are the ones that have helped me heal.

Time constraints didn’t allow us to answer every question that was texted in during our live Q&A, but I decided to take the best 5 questions we didn’t answer and give my best explanations right here on the blog. You can see the answers to questions 1-3 on a post from earlier this week. I'll answer questions 4 and 5 today. I hope this helps to provide healing and hope in your situation.

Last Sunday I invited Amanda’s family to join me on stage and answer questions about life, death, grief and loss. It was an incredibly healing time for all of us. We laughed, cried, and processed in real time. It’s always been a value in our church to be authentic and real about where you’re at and how Jesus is walking you in next steps and I believe that applies from the top/down of leadership. Thank you for letting us be real with you!

We’ve received countless stories of how Amanda’s story has changed people’s lives. I love to hear these because they remind me that NOTHING IS WASTED. I wanted you to see some of these stories too. This one is from Anna. 

I purchased Amanda a sword from the movie Braveheart the Valentines Day during our engagement. I know, most guys do chocolates and flowers but I’m not most guys, and Amanda wasn’t most girls. She was special and each special occasion I felt the urge to do something special for her. Something that would top the last.

Sometimes you don’t have an explanation for it. It defies reason. It defies logic. It’s no respecter of time or appointments. It doesn’t take into consideration conversations you’re needing to have, situations you’re needing to save-face for. Grief. Agonizing, gut-wrenching grief.

We've received countless stories of how Amanda's story has changed people's lives. I love to hear these because they remind me that NOTHING IS WASTED. I wanted you to see some of these stories too. 

“I’m so proud of you.” These are five words that would completely change my day when Amanda would say them to me . . . Gosh, it would change my week! I am a words of affirmation kind of person, which means I feel most loved when someone affirms me. For that reason I’m extra sensitive to both helpful words directed at me and harmful words.