I realized in that moment how important the Bible has been to my life—especially in the last eighteen months. It has been the the anchor of truth for my soul in the swirling squall of tragedy. The Bible has been a sweet, refreshing drink to my parched soul. I truly want my congregation (and you) to form a LOVE for, an OBSESSION with, and even an ADDICTION to God’s Word.

It was our senior year of college (Amanda completed her two year degree), and we were graduating on the SAME DAY (with our awesome brother James)! In the week leading up to graduation, Amanda and I decided we needed a haircut. We walked into the salon, and the lady at the front desk asked if we were twins. (We get this a lot).

I’m confident one of the most instrumental components to a healing plan is rest. I know this seems obvious but you’d be surprised how few sufferers of tragedy and trauma actually practice rest. Over the last eighteen months I’ve struggled with resting.

I’m often asked if there are any resources I would suggest for people who are walking through a trial or suffering of some sort. Since Amanda passed I’ve read a number of books that have helped frame in me a theology of suffering. These resources have offered me handholds for discovering purpose in my pain.

As time goes on, your heart should increasingly be convinced of: "I can't believe I’m hers, and I can’t believe she’s mine." And not just because you're trying to project some kind of online image that you have a fairy tale relationship or because you’re merely in love with the idea of love. Do you actually feel that inherently - and increasingly - about her?

This project was conceived out of hurt, nurtured through healing, and will be delivered as hope. Discovering hope for yourself after hurt takes time, but it can be transferred in a moment. Sometimes you need to borrow other people’s faith when your faith is faltering.

I decided to write Part 2 and Part 3 as if I were sitting down with Weston when he's 22 years old, dating a girl, and getting ready to pop the question. These are the questions I’d ask him:

Now that I reflect on Amanda and our relationship I think to myself, how in the world did I know she was "the one" for me? There must have been some indicators. There must of been some tell-tales that made me fall so head-over heels, that compelled me to put so many of my personal ambitions and dreams lower on the priority list in order to pursue her heart.

Tragedy - especially death - has a way of clarifying things. When you lose the most important person in your life you begin to take inventory of what really matters. Eternity seems so palpable you can taste it. And, if you’ll let Him, Jesus will use your pain to cause your heart to beat more fervently for what makes His heart beat.

My assistant makes me try new things .... so I did a Q&A on Facebook LIVE  (well at least we tried) and Instagram LIVE this week! We had a great time and got a lot of great questions!

I want to be intentional to teach him that Jesus has still blessed us even though we've lost the most important person in our world. I want him to see that we get to go to some fun places because his mommy loved Jesus very much and people are inspired by her life.

This was the last book Amanda was reading when she went to be with Jesus. It was more than just a book. It was the way she lived her life. 

Lately I’ve been having flashbacks. I’m not sure if they call this Post Traumatic Stress Disorder or not, but there have been multiple times over the past couple weeks where my mind almost involuntarily drifts to the morning I walked in and found Amanda.

It took me three months after Amanda was killed before I could go back into my house. I couldn’t bring myself to face the scene where I found her. I couldn’t muster up the courage to willingly walk back into those horrific memories. But I want you to know something that happened while I was in the house. I want you to see how, if you’ll let it, God’s Word can direct you in truth to comfort your unknowns.

On November 11th, 2016, the 1-year anniversary of Amanda’s death, the Resonate Band will be recording a live worship album. These songs are powerful reminders to us of God’s faithfulness even in the most horrific of circumstances.

From day one I recognized this was not just a physical attack, but a spiritual one. There was no other way I could understand how all this could have happened in the hour and a half I was gone from my house, other than this was a strategically mapped out, carefully plotted ploy by evil powers that live in the supernatural realm and have been given dominion of this world.

From day one, anytime someone would talk about those last 45 minutes, it was too much for me to handle. In fact, I think the Lord knew it was too much for me to handle. So I believe He gave me this one truth to hang my heart on until He could show me other truths.

Over the next 4 weeks, every Monday, I’m going to share my journey of healing with you. I’m going to share with you what I feel like the Lord has showed me. I don’t know for sure everything that happened in those last 45 minutes of Amanda’s life, either in the natural realm or the supernatural one, but the truths I’ll share with you the next 4 weeks are the ones that have helped me heal.

Time constraints didn’t allow us to answer every question that was texted in during our live Q&A, but I decided to take the best 5 questions we didn’t answer and give my best explanations right here on the blog. You can see the answers to questions 1-3 on a post from earlier this week. I'll answer questions 4 and 5 today. I hope this helps to provide healing and hope in your situation.

Last Sunday I invited Amanda’s family to join me on stage and answer questions about life, death, grief and loss. It was an incredibly healing time for all of us. We laughed, cried, and processed in real time. It’s always been a value in our church to be authentic and real about where you’re at and how Jesus is walking you in next steps and I believe that applies from the top/down of leadership. Thank you for letting us be real with you!